A codependent relationship is a dysfunctional one. Codependents have a pattern of behavior in which they need other people to like them and approve of them. They depend on others for their self worth and identity and go out of their way to please others, often sacrificing their own needs in the process. Codependency is difficult to treat as codependents are often in denial.
They often have difficulty with boundaries. They may have weak, blurred boundaries and feel too responsible for the feelings and problems of others. They keep trying to fix the other person and feel rejected if their advice is ignored. On the other hand their boundaries may be too rigid, preventing any real closeness. They often vacillate between being too weak or too rigid.
True communication is usually absent in such a situation. The codependent person cannot afford to be honest for fear of rejection or abandonment. They need others to help them feel secure and so they will often give their partners support without thinking about their own feelings. They find their self-worth in taking care of others and pleasing them.
They are afraid of being abandoned or rejected and will stay in a relationship, even if it is abusive. They actually choose a bad relationship over being alone. Low self-esteem, shame, fear of being judged or rejected and feeling trapped are common in such a relationship. Anger and resentment, depression, despair and a sense of hopelessness are other common feelings.
A partner of a codependent person will often do little to discourage the dependency. They cater to the behavior as they feel that they are helping the person. However, they are actually just preventing any change from taking place. It is possible to break these patterns of behavior but it is often difficult for a couple to do this without help.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
It may be necessary to receive guidance and support as it is often difficult to make these changes alone. Some of the changes that may have to be made is to spend more time with family and friends, find enjoyable hobbies and even to spend time apart to create a more healthy dependency.
One of the best ways of dealing with this problem is for the codependent person to begin to develop self respect. However, this is easier said than done and often involves professional guidance. A problem like this can ruin lives and the sooner it is addressed the better. It starts with awareness of the problem, acceptance that it needs to change and then taking the appropriate action. Seeking professional help is important and there are many people experienced in treating such problems.
They often have difficulty with boundaries. They may have weak, blurred boundaries and feel too responsible for the feelings and problems of others. They keep trying to fix the other person and feel rejected if their advice is ignored. On the other hand their boundaries may be too rigid, preventing any real closeness. They often vacillate between being too weak or too rigid.
True communication is usually absent in such a situation. The codependent person cannot afford to be honest for fear of rejection or abandonment. They need others to help them feel secure and so they will often give their partners support without thinking about their own feelings. They find their self-worth in taking care of others and pleasing them.
They are afraid of being abandoned or rejected and will stay in a relationship, even if it is abusive. They actually choose a bad relationship over being alone. Low self-esteem, shame, fear of being judged or rejected and feeling trapped are common in such a relationship. Anger and resentment, depression, despair and a sense of hopelessness are other common feelings.
A partner of a codependent person will often do little to discourage the dependency. They cater to the behavior as they feel that they are helping the person. However, they are actually just preventing any change from taking place. It is possible to break these patterns of behavior but it is often difficult for a couple to do this without help.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
It may be necessary to receive guidance and support as it is often difficult to make these changes alone. Some of the changes that may have to be made is to spend more time with family and friends, find enjoyable hobbies and even to spend time apart to create a more healthy dependency.
One of the best ways of dealing with this problem is for the codependent person to begin to develop self respect. However, this is easier said than done and often involves professional guidance. A problem like this can ruin lives and the sooner it is addressed the better. It starts with awareness of the problem, acceptance that it needs to change and then taking the appropriate action. Seeking professional help is important and there are many people experienced in treating such problems.
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