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29 May 2018

A Guide To Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Conflict is common to all relationships. Most married people have had their share of disagreements due to their different personalities, backgrounds and expectations. You may find yourselves arguing, disagreeing or bickering on a regular basis over particular issues. Some conflicts can ruin your relationship. It is therefore important to know how to resolve them. If you develop the skill of couples conflict solution, you can protect and preserve your relationship.

Conflict can start when married people are planning to make a major change in their lives. One of the spouses may respond in a hostile manner after the other one states his or her case. Examples of hostile responses include yelling, tuning out completely or talking over the other person. During the first stages of resolving conflicts, the process a couple uses is more vital than the words uttered. Married people can disagree in a manner that cannot ruin their relationship if they develop good listening skills.

In order to resolve an issue, you need to allow your spouse to speak about his or her worries, frustrations or concerns. Allow your partner to express feelings in a safe way without feeling that he or she is being ridiculed. This way, your partner will be more willing to listen to what you are saying.

It is also important to talk about your feelings without blaming your spouse. If you make statements, which assault the character of your spouse directly, they can damage your relationship. For example, if your partner is jealous, avoid saying that he or she is irrational. The right way to talk about this issue is telling your partner that you feel irritated whenever he or she states that you are flirting with another person during an innocent conversation. Although this strategy is direct, it will not impugn on the character of your spouse.

As they address a problem, married people should not make generalizations about their partner, such as saying that he or she always or never does something. These words can make a person defensive. He or she may come up with several examples showing why the statements of his or her partner are false. To resolve an issue, married people should try to create a discussion about how their spouse can become more helpful or attentive.

In order to have a constructive discussion, it is important to stick to an issue at a time. When you are unhappy, you are likely to drag several topics into one discussion. When you are planning to solve personal problems, this is not the correct strategy to use. When you raise many complaints at once, it is less likely that you will get any of them fully solved.

Married people should also avoid objecting to the complaints of their partners when being criticized. It is not easy to solve an issue when one partner becomes defensive. For this reason, couples should listen to their partners and carefully consider what they are saying.

You can also deal with conflict in your relationship by consulting with a couples counselor. You can discuss about your conflicts with the counselor. Couples counseling can help you to express your desires and emotions in a respectful and safe environment. It can also heal the hurt brought about by emotional neglect, bereavement and infidelity. The counselor will work with you to build a more intimate and meaningful relationship.




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