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08 January 2013

Public Speaking: How to Gain Confidence

By Megan R. Grayson


On one occasion or another, you're going to take the center stage and give a speech. Whether to inspire people who have lost their hopes or to give lessons to those who are hungry of knowledge, you are expected to speak your mind and deliver clearly what you have to say. We all have our fair shares of stage fright. And public speaking is a real challenge to everyone. But, you have to keep in mind that in every challenge, there is always a way to beat it.

Overcome Fear.One reason you may not belief in yourself is your fear. It could be fear of failure, that if you fail you will lose even more confidence and be an embarrassment. Nothing ventured nothing gain, give yourself the freedom to fail. You do not really fail unless you give up. So long as you continue to do what it takes for you to gain confidence then there is nothing to fear. The beauty is that the more you do the more confident you become. Think about a nine to 12 month old baby who's learning to walk, how the baby eventually has full confidence and enjoys the new found freedom. The more the baby walks the more confident the baby gets.

Identify your successes - Get to know the good things and the talents you have and appreciate them. By this you can find inner peace that will help you gain self-confidence in some areas of your life.Do not care too much about what other people think - Other people tend to care more about themselves than you. You cannot please everybody in the world, so do what you think is right and pleases you. For example, when you are speaking in a public gathering, do not care about how people think about you, just believe in yourself. This will help you appreciate yourself, which builds your self-confidence

Allow being judged - You have to accept this because everyone, including me, judges other people. All you need to do is be okay with it; some will judge you positively and others negatively. This is hard! But you have to do it, just do not be so concerned on how people think about you. Appreciate yourself just the way you are and you are going to gain self-confidence.Help other people - By helping other people or just showing kindness, you create an awareness in your mind that you have a positive impact in the outside world. It helps to treat others how you want to be treated. When you constantly treat others kindly, they will begin to treat you the same way. Therefore this will help you gain self-confidence.

The economy might be in a better shape than one year ago but the job market has remained tough. The competition is fierce even with many candidates raising their qualifications, expanding their network and working on their skill set. It has become necessary to change the logistics of the search for a new job; success can be reached by applying all of yourself to your quest.A positive attitude is hard to accomplish when the general outlook is grim yet it is crucial if you want to be effective and gain professional achievements. Affirmative and forward-looking approach will not only advance your career, it may also improve other areas of your life. This is a great time to start building your confidence and focus on your attitude.

While some people revert to eating, shopping, crying, screaming or even, hibernating from everyone, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that these reactions don't help the situation or your self-confidence very much. Instead of running that "spit the dummy" routine when you are feeling like a failure, let's transfer your focus and energy on something that may help your cause, instead of magnifying it.The quickest way to do this is turning to your supporters. Firstly you need to know,Who are your supporters? Who can help pull you out of this emotional downtime? Who can give you that confidence boost?I call this emotional downtime, because, while you feel like a loser with no confidence, it's only your emotions which are responsible for your results. Your actual knowledge and skills are good enough to succeed, but it's your pessimistic focus that drives your negative emotions which in turn give you the disappointing results that you produce when in this state resulting in no confidence. When you are in such an emotional downtime, it's virtually impossible to turn yourself around by yourself.

But of course, confidence is to be distinguished from arrogance, which does not attract people or success. When you are confident, you believe in your own abilities but you do not need to look down at or mistreat others. In fact, the greater your confidence, the more you will act in a selfless, generous and engaging manner.Here are three top tips to help you develop confidence at work.Focus On Confidence.Confidence is ultimately an emotion. When you feel the emotion of confidence, it allows you to access inner resources that make you more capable and focussed. On the other hand, when you feel a lack of confidence, you will tend to hold back, not take risks and generally under-perform.But while confidence may be an emotion, developing it is more of a skill. And skill requires practice. Any complex skill that you are now able to perform, which includes reading, writing and talking required a lot of practice. Any skills at work that you are able to perform also required practice.

But with the help of others, this can be done quickly and easily.Just like any business person or athlete, whenever they question their ability to produce the necessary results, they turn to their coach to pull them out rather than trying to do it themselves because they know that at the time,They are emotionally charged negatively to the situation, limiting possible outcomes and perceptions.Their coach/supporter is not emotionally connected to the situation, and therefore can think logically.Who is or can be your personal coach to pull you out of situations when you are feeling down with no confidence? Think carefully here, you don't want to choose the wrong coach.Think of all your family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, members of any clubs you belong to, shop owners etc. you have gotten to know.Now all you have to do is contact them.

Choose who you spend time with wisely.Happiness is contagious, surround yourself with genuine and constructive people and some of their attitude will rub off on you and influence you in a positive way. You may want to spend more time with family; you need each other's support and faith. Give yourself small breaks and do something that makes you happy: meet with friends, take a walk in the park, go to cinema or treat yourself to a small gift.

Above all - take action and put yourself in charge. The right frame of mind will set you off to promising new grounds. Step by step you can change your attitude and empower yourself to make a difference in your own future, your own life.Margaret Buj is an Interview Coach and a senior recruiter, with experience of recruiting across EMEA for leading organizations in the technology sector, including Microsoft, VMware, Cisco and Business Objects. During a 1-to-1 coaching session with Margaret, you will get the opportunity to practice your interview skills without the pressure and the nerves of a real interview. You will get clear, practical advice and encouragement, and you will become more fluent in your ability to answer any question an interviewer can throw at you. As a result, you will feel less anxious and more confident and you will significantly increase your chances of getting a job offer or a place on a graduate training scheme.




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