Nobody's perfect. In an age of two working parents or guardians, single parent homes, co-parenting, blended families, and just plain, normal mothers and fathers doing the best they can, mistakes happen. Mistake number one: parents too exhausted to parent.
This is perhaps our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a tedious day hunting and gathering potentially looked more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents put older brothers or sisters in charge of younger siblings; youngsters who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad protected the clan from voracious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, offspring who didn't fit with family norms most likely did not survive.
Today, well-meaning, tired parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is simply better to allow the TV and Playstation to parent their youngsters. Outbursts are met with concessions. Kids learn to act on their own reconnaissance rather than ask permission because they know results from over-tired parents and guardians can be bartered away through whining, manipulation, persistence, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that can't apply acceptable consequences because their kid is exhibiting good behavior such as washing the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, kids are in control of their behavior choices, and parents and guardians are in command of the related punishments and rewards. If kids are allowed to choose their behavior and manipulate the parental response by acting "good," this often leads to power struggles, perplexity, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting isn't for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye peeled for good parental advice and do your utmost to use a time management plan if you're overworked.
This is perhaps our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a tedious day hunting and gathering potentially looked more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents put older brothers or sisters in charge of younger siblings; youngsters who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad protected the clan from voracious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, offspring who didn't fit with family norms most likely did not survive.
Today, well-meaning, tired parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is simply better to allow the TV and Playstation to parent their youngsters. Outbursts are met with concessions. Kids learn to act on their own reconnaissance rather than ask permission because they know results from over-tired parents and guardians can be bartered away through whining, manipulation, persistence, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that can't apply acceptable consequences because their kid is exhibiting good behavior such as washing the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, kids are in control of their behavior choices, and parents and guardians are in command of the related punishments and rewards. If kids are allowed to choose their behavior and manipulate the parental response by acting "good," this often leads to power struggles, perplexity, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting isn't for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye peeled for good parental advice and do your utmost to use a time management plan if you're overworked.
About the Author:
Dr. Kate Walker is an approved professional specialist in the Woodlands, Texas. Her parental advice making sure understanding for tired parents looking for a time management plan, as well as tips for handling misbehavior to demonstrate how to effectively parent while working.
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