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31 October 2016

The Benefits Of Consulting A Couples Counselor In Bethesda

By Laura Cooper


The days when the norm was that two people meet, fall in love, go out for a while, become engaged and then marry and spend the rest of their lives together are long gone. Modern life places many demands on people and people in a close relationship often cannot cope with all the pressures they experience. However, when two people that committed themselves to each other decide to dissolve the relationship it may be worthwhile to first see a couples counselor in Bethesda.

Many studies have shown that a large percentage of relationships that simply do not work out in the long term can be ascribed to the fact that one partner, usually the male, does not accept that the roles of people in society have changed. Women are no longer almost automatically housewives and responsible for cooking and cleaning. They want their own careers and some men find this ambition threatening.

Attitudes have changed and it is now much easier for partners to live together without marriage or a legal bond. Some therapists say this is one of the reasons why so many relationships simply do not last. People simply commit too early and in many cases it is easy to simply end a relationship unceremoniously. Counsellors advise that it is far better to first get to know a potential partner on all levels before making serious commitments.

It is one thing to leave a partner but it is quite another thing to end a relationship that has produced children. In such cases it is vital to put the futures and well being of the children at the top of the priority list. In order to make sensible and realistic decisions in this regard it is highly advisable that both partners see a counsellor, who will guide them through both the legal and emotional minefields.

It is interesting to note that a large percentage of people seeking professional help have been in a single relationship for a long time. In that time, they have built up a joint estate, own assets together and have joint savings, insurance and investments. They do not want to jeopardize everything they worked so hard for and are therefore often willing to seek help from a professional.

Many therapists agree that a large percentage of relationships flounder due to small differences, irritations and disagreements. The partners do not communicate properly and these small matters quickly become major issues. In such cases the counsellor can help both partners to identify the issues that caused a deterioration of their relationship and to see those issues in their proper perspective. The role of the counsellor is to act as facilitator, not to prescribe solutions.

There are cases where it is definitely better to end a relationship immediately. If one partner is abusive or aggressive it is best that the other party leave immediately. Sexual deviancy, ongoing substance abuse and a failure to make any form of contribution to the relationship are all also very clear and serious warning signs. This is also true for relationships that are in trouble but where one partner refuse to see a counsellor.

A healthy relationship creates an environment where both partners feel safe, cherished and valued. When this is no longer the case, counselling is definitely indicated. A professional therapist can help couple to rediscover the magic they once experienced in the company of each other.




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