Have you ever had a conversation with someone that was, well, hard to get into? If you have, then you probably felt like getting away from that situation as soon as you could. What you have to realize is that women feel the same way most of the time when guys try to talk to them.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
When someone seems nervous, or when they seem down, it makes talking to them a lot more difficult. When they are nervous, you can easily find that nervous feeling contagious and if you don't like that feeling, which most of us don't - it's going to make you want to get away. Happens a lot to women when they talk to really nervous guys.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
When someone seems nervous, or when they seem down, it makes talking to them a lot more difficult. When they are nervous, you can easily find that nervous feeling contagious and if you don't like that feeling, which most of us don't - it's going to make you want to get away. Happens a lot to women when they talk to really nervous guys.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
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