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15 October 2013

How To Build Up Low Self Esteem

By Jack H. Sousa


What do you think of yourself as a person? How do you think other people see you? The first question is considerably more important than the second; however the second may provide an invaluable insight into the first.Your self esteem is how you see yourself, what you think of yourself and what value you assign to yourself as a human being. Self esteem is a part of your character and personality. It is a trait unique to you which encompasses your inner-most feelings of confidence, integrity, love, respect, pride and happiness.

You will easily be able to identify a person with high self esteem. Their very existence will exude all the characteristics above, from their physical appearance right down to the manner in which they speak. They tend to be popular, motivated, ambitious and do not accept defeat easily. Their purpose in life has meaning and they vigorously pursue what they want until they achieve it.In contract, people with low self esteem think they are worthless. They believe that nothing they do merits recognition, praise, respect or reward. Such a person will contently devalue themselves in the presence of others because they simply do not believe they are worthy. They tend to shy away from social inclusion and take the view that everybody else's opinions matter more than their own. They feel shameful and embarrassed at the very thought that they could ever be admirable in any way.

The major downside of low self esteem is the fact that it holds us back. A sound self esteem is very important for it allows us to succeed in life. It makes our life better and gives us the power to enjoy life more. Building self esteem and confidence is therefore considered as one of the challenges of life that we need to cope with. This way we will reap the rewards of having a productive and fulfilling life in general.So, if building self esteem and confidence is one of you concerns, there are several ways on how you can be able to do this without difficulty. These ways include the following:Try to become skilled at the things that the majority of people cannot do. It does not mean that you need t be a superhero with super powers to accomplish a certain undertaking that are usually avoided by people.

Celebrate your achievements.No matter how big or small, if you get something done, celebrate! Tell people about it. Achieving small steps is the key to success. There is nothing wrong in blowing your own trumpet. This will also put you in a positive frame of mind.Use your strengths.Everybody has strengths. Regardless of what you do or what kind of person you are, you have strengths. Focus on what you're good at doing and what you like doing the most. Nobody is good at everything, but everybody is good at something.Love yourself.When you look in the mirror you probably start thinking negative thoughts straight away. To build your self esteem you first need to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. Only once your mind is at ease will it start to accept the notion of improvement.Let go of the past.The past may have had a major impact on your life so far, but how long are you going to let it affect your life? If you choose to move on, you can at least start creating a happier future for yourself but it has to start now. You don't have to forget the past completely, just respect yourself for coping with it and understand that you need to move on.

Forgive your mistakes and work towards being a better person. No one is perfect! Instead, learn from your mistakes.Be confident, never over confident. Believe in yourself and strive to better yourself every moment. Never put yourself down, for anything or anyone.Remember to have fun! Life is short, so make the most of it when you can. It is never wrong to have fun! Enjoy life and be happy!

Also expect that you will not always succeed the first few times that you attempt to do something. The important thing is to go onto finish what you set out to do.This gives you a good sense of accomplishment and then you will start to build confidence.I hope these self esteem tips are helpful to you so that you can start to believe in yourself and go onto having the happiness and success that you deserve.If you are not happy with your life then it is up to you to change it.Since I often write about healing after an affair, I am asked very often about how to restore or rebuild a wife's self esteem after infidelity. The truth is, even if and when a wife has forgiven her husband or wants to move on, the hit to her self esteem can keep this from happening. It can be hard to believe your husband genuinely loves / desires you and won't cheat again when you deep down don't believe this yourself as you might fear there is something wrong with you or that your husband had an affair because of something the mistress or other woman had that you didn't. This article will give you some facts, tips, and information that is meant to help educate you about affairs, why they happen, why it's not at all your fault, and how you can rebuild your self esteem following it.

Be supportive. Make sure your spouse knows they have your full support. If someone else is criticizing your partner, you need to defend him or her from this. The relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to supersede other relationships. You need to stand by your spouse fully and show total support.Be respectful to your spouse. Don't be a doormat but do show respect. Use words like please and thank you and avoid treating him or her like a child. Doing that or nagging is disrespectful and demeaning and will crush their self-esteem even more. Someone with low self-esteem often feels they don't deserve respect. Respect will make them feel better and can help to build their self-esteem.

Be appreciative so your partner is aware that you appreciate the things they do. Whether it is cleaning the bathroom or cooking a meal, let them know you appreciate the gesture. Tell them they make a great parent if you have kids. If you are being honest and loving, you will see many things your spouse does which you can praise them for.Make sure to share the credit. If your spouse is suffering from low self-esteem, they might not see how they are contributing to the marriage and family every day. Point out these things to others and to your spouse. Let your spouse know how much you value their abilities and how much it helps.Help your spouse to discover any hidden talents. Ask them about what they can do well or like to do or would even like to learn to do. Encourage them to do more of this or take a class. Perhaps you will both be interested and can learn or practice together.

While this behavior is completely understandable, it does nothing for your self esteem or your self worth. Although you may not feel like it, it's so important to take care of yourself and do what makes you happy. Now is the perfect time to do all of those things you've been putting off or to stop neglecting yourself, your own needs, and those things that make you happy. Take up old hobbies. See friends. Get that facial or highlights you've been wanting. Do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face. Not only will you feel better, but this will demonstrate to yourself and your husband that you are a vital, worthwhile woman who loves herself enough to get moving. As Hard As It May Be, Focus On Intimacy And Trust When You Are Ready: Always remember that you are the same person that your husband once feel deeply and head over heals in love with. Yes, the circumstances may have changed and there's no denying he made an unfortunate choice, but once upon a time when your husband had no reason to lie or fake it, you made his heart soar.

Show that you are interested in them. Do you know their favorite animal or color? Do you know their ambitions and dreams? Find out these things and use the information. If you find out your wife likes turtles, buy her a turtle ornament, for example, "just because". Find out her favorite dinner and make it for her. This demonstrates your love and care for your spouse by actions, which speak louder than words. Asking questions about what your spouse likes and doesn't like is a great way to build intimacy and show that you are interested in everything about them.Remember not to go it alone. Asking "what is your opinion?" is very important, especially in a marriage. You must always take your partner's views into consideration when making a decision. Whether it is a major purchase or just a small thing, ask what your spouse thinks. Whether you are deciding where to go on vacation or changing the color of the bedroom carpet, ask them. This tells them that you trust and value them and this can greatly enhance your marriage.Healthy self-esteem ensures a happy, fulfilling marriage. Taking the time to implement the above ideas can help to build your spouse's self-esteem and make the two of you, plus any children you have, happier together. It might take weeks, or even months, to build up someone's self-esteem but if you use these ideas, hopefully it will be a great success in the end.




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